AMPLIFY DAILY: CEO level insights – How To Kill Relationships 101 (Day #35 of 365)

Thomas K.R. Stovall
Thomas K.R. Stovall
All Posts By TKRS

DAY #35 OF 365 | Sunday, February 4th, 2024


CATEGORY: CEO Level Insights

In today’s video, I share a simple communication framework to use in relationships, both business and personal, to create safe, solution-oriented communication that builds healthy partnerships

As well as the ONE THING so many people regularly do that, unbeknownst to them, absolutely KILLS relationships before they ever have a chance.

YESTERDAY’S RECAP

If you missed yesterday’s AMPLIFY DAILY, I shared the 1st 3 steps of 10 in stage 1 of my 4-stage layered launch process for experts launching online programs.

Step 1: Pick your date

Step 2: Complete your program “Skeleton Outline”

Step 3: Select your online workshop topic

If you’re an expert (coach, trainer, speaker, consultant) who makes your money in the front of rooms and on stages, and you want to turn your expertise into income online, watch this video in full.

3 things to watch for in evaluating communication and relationships…

In today’s video, I share a really effective communication framework along with something to avoid doing that will absolutely destroy relationships every time, both business and personal.

In evaluating the depth and quality of relationship I can have with someone, I pay attention closely over time, and look for alignment with respect to three (3) things:

1. Words

2. Actions

3. Energetic Momentum

    Watch the words…

    Words are only half the story…

    But it’s still incredibly important to pay attention to the following, with respect to words…

    Do the things they say feel aligned with your fundamental belief systems?

    ● Notice where words and actions do and don’t align, and move accordingly

    Do their narratives about themselves, others, and the world at large remain consistent over time?

    ● This goes for evaluating yourself too, not just watching and listening to others

    “The way life occurs is inseparable from language…”

    A mentor of mine once gave me that quote, and it’s always stuck with me…

    It means before words can be formed and spoken on a conscious level…

    They are first unconscious thoughts in the brain…

    And all of our thoughts are formed inside the filters of our unconscious belief systems.

    This means that for the skillful listener…

    What you say (and don’t say) in any moment, or in response to any question…

    Always give direct insight into your unconscious belief systems about yourself, others, and the world at large.

    Compare words with actions, over time…

    We can get a baseline for someone’s thoughts, words, actions, and beliefs based on their words…

    Which gives us the ability to gauge whether or not actions and words stay CONSISTENT over time…

    How To Kill Relationships 101

    I wrote an article some years ago that outlined the one thing that so many of us do in our communication…

    “How To Kill Relationships 101 Article” —>> HERE.

    That absolutely, positively sucks the life and possibility out of relationships…

    And we do it on accident, and without even realizing that it was our own doing…

    And that thing is making “silent assumptions” about people and situations…

    Holding those “personal truths” (which many times are disempowering) in your mind as “the” truth…

    Then communicating with the other person from the lens of your “personal truth,” about yourself, others and the world at large.

    Trust the actions when the words no longer tell the whole story…

    Notice the direction of the energetic momentum…

    Is their energy moving toward you or away from you?

    Watch for small signs to identify the shifts…

    ● Brevity in communication where there were once more words

    ● Metered energy in communication where there was once more emotion

    ● Much longer response times where quick replies were once the standard

    ● Vague language when it comes to committal things like setting up calls or meetings, where there once was specificity and clear forward motion toward putting formal time on the calendar to connect and have discussion

    In a situation where their words are saying one thing…

    And verbalizing that everything’s fine and nothing has changed…

    Yet the energetic momentum of their actions is clearing moving away from you…

    And it’s absolutely apparent from the small signs that something has clearly changed…

    In my experience, when I have to figure out how to move when words and actions I’m seeing from an individual or a company I’m in a consideration stage with are no longer aligned with their actions…

    I simply opt to temporarily suspend my faith in the words, if I’m forced to choose between believing their words or their actions…

    And I trust the direction that their actions indicate that the ENERGY is moving…

    Because sometimes people’s actions begin to change, even before they are consciously aware that they feel differently about a person or an opportunity.

    If that energetic momentum is clearly moving AWAY from me, then I take the position that either the priority or interest in me or my offer is waning or in question…

    And I move accordingly.

    I suggest you do the same.

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